White Out in South Beach


Unbeknownst to me, this trip was about to change my traveling preferences forever. Prior to our trip to South Beach, I could never fathom why anyone would spend hundreds of dollars for a place to rest. I used to promise myself that no matter how much wealth I accumulated, I would NEVER abuse my money like that. I swore I’d always stay in simple, mainstream hotels. You know, the Marriott, Holiday Inn, etc. Not anymore. 

The plane ride to Miami really set the “ritzy” tone of our trip. We met an older, wise, and seemingly wealthy Chilean artist across from us. He started small talk and then Marc and I really pushed the conversation forward. We typically dislike small talk with strangers, but when we travel, we LOVE to engage others in conversation. Fellow travelers always seem to enlighten us.

Anyway, this Chilean fellow must have thought we were pretty awesome. He ended up buying us two drinks each. He was a real charming old man until he told me (in reference to Marc), “He’s a keeper. Don’t let him go.” Woah, what? Call me old-fashioned, but shouldn’t he have told Marc not to let ME go? Yes, I’m still bitter at him, but he was right, Marc is a keeper.

We said farewell to our Chilean (sort of) friend and hailed a cab (not a limo, we’re not that yuppy) to the Delano Hotel. This was my first introduction to luxury hotels. OH MY GOSH. Standing in the lobby almost seemed surreal. I felt a bit like a princess.

The hotel lobby was exquisite. It featured lush, oversized furniture and the decor was quite unlike anything I had ever seen. The elevator had neon lights and the walls were mirrors (probably for all the self-absorbed people who routinely visit the Delano). When we stepped out onto our floor, we were greeted by another mirror that displayed the time and temperature. Pretty cool.

We opened the door into our room and I felt like I was entering my first all-white party. The only splash of color in our room was a green apple. The bathroom was tiny with nearly no counter space, but the rest of the room made up for it. The bed was plush and the furniture was sleek and modern.

The next day, feeling a bit like a wealthy celebrity, I strolled out of the Delano on a mission to find some Tom Ford sunglasses. I like to say the moment I purchased my Tom Fords is when I entered into yuppyhood. They go everywhere with me and when I forget them, I miss them like crazy. I believe in splurging on items I really want and I don’t regret that purchase a bit.

Once I was looking glamorous in my new shades, we made our way straight to the beautiful pool lined with palm trees. Within minutes,the humidity was about to kill me. Luckily for me, there was a sweet pool boy who came to my rescue with frozen grapes. Sounds boring, but they were absolutely a-m-a-z-i-n-g. If you ever stay at the Delano, you absolutely have to sweat by the pool just so you can get a taste of these little things. Although, if you’re a complete conservative, I strongly suggest you forgo the pool. You won’t appreciate the many topless European women. On that note, leave the kids at home. Oh, and if you’re dating Tiger Woods, leave him at home, too.

The frozen grapes were the only freebies at the Delano. Want beach chairs? Around $50 a day. Four drinks and an appetizer served to you on the beach? Incredibly expensive. I won’t mention the exact amount because my mother may be reading this and I’d hate for her to go into cardiac arrest (you’re welcome, Mom). Oh by the way, we didn’t even get a buzz. Smuggle your own drinks onto the beach.

All criticisms aside, the Delano sparked my desire to never stay in another monotonous hotel. I absolutely loved it (minus all the additional charges) and would stay there again if I didn’t have the rule to never stay the same place twice. Next time we go to South Beach, we’ll stay at Fontainebleau because Regis stays there.

~ Lyndsi



2 responses »

  1. Pingback: Traveling Couples’ {Digital} Dinner Party- October 2011 « Two Yuppies and a Passport

  2. “Although, if you’re a complete conservative, I strongly suggest you forgo the pool. You won’t appreciate the many topless European women. On that note, leave the kids at home.”

    THANK YOU so much for this. I came across your blog while looking up travel info about South Beach and the Delano. A friend had actually recommended my husband and I this hotel but somehow didn’t mention the topless nudity part which would have been good to know since we almost always (with the exception of our yearly wedding anniversary) travel with our children. LOL!

    We were considering staying at the Delano before we knew about their topless pool policy. But with 2 kids this wouldn’t be the ideal hotel. I think they’re far too young at this point to be exposed to adult nudity like this. Thank you for the warning!

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